When You Can’t Let Go Of Someone Who Is Not Good For You

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Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. Without his love I can do nothing, with his love, there is nothing I cannot do. But as much as I did love him, our sex life was just, oh, how do I put this nicely … horrendous.

You know what it sounds like. Just hit the share button below and post it on all your social networks. I drove past his old apartment the other day for the first time in months, and it felt like nothing had changed, like we were still together.

When You Can’t Let Go Of Someone Who Is Not Good For You

I have felt this more times than I care to admit. The worst was when I fell in love with my ex-husband. He was twelve years my junior, from another country Greece , and barely spoke English. Our souls connected immediately, and I fell in love with him. What was I thinking? We had nothing in common. He was not ready financially or emotionally. We could not communicate. Our cultures were different. They were flawed because I fell in love with character and not with our compatibility or their ability to contribute to my happiness. I fell in love with these men because of who they were, not how they made me feel. Yes, they were kind. Yes, they were ethical. Yes, they were attractive. But not one of them really listened to me. Not one of them treated me like I was the best thing since sliced bread. I kept trying and trying. I kept thinking that if I were enough they would care more. I kept thinking if I gave more they would understand I was doing everything to make them happy, and in return they would want to make me happy. It never will be. So, whether you are in a relationship that you are unsure of right now or if you are just venturing into the dating world, ask yourself these things before you settle down. Sometimes our relationships can be a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, so be careful not to push your judgment of yourself onto your partner. Determine whether these feelings arise out of their treatment of you, or whether they are insecurities you have no matter who you are with. Some people are just a better match for us than others. Are my needs equal in importance to their own? When you tell your partner something is important to you, how do they react? Relationships take two equal parts. I started talking to my then husband. I am not your girlfriend. If you want to talk, call Tracy. Yes, you can guess where we went. We went to divorce court. Are their core values in line with mine? We all have core principles and values that we live by. These are different for each of us. However, if your partner does not have the same values you have, then there is likely to be trouble in paradise as time marches on. Core values are things you must have in a partner. I was born this way. No one wants a cheater or a liar, but many times people cheat and lie and explain it away or justify it. This is completely incompatible with my sense of self, and something I could never accept in a partner. I was drawn to my last boyfriend because of his ethical principles. He was highly actuated in this area and it made me extremely attracted to him because of it. Some of these things change over time, and sometimes not. Some people can become more religious or decide they want children. It is possible to change the way you view and handle money. Deeply ingrained core values are not likely to change. Do they want to know me? I believe everyone has different comfort levels in regard to vulnerability. Some people crave intense emotional intimacy, and some do not. My parents were married for thirty-four years, and I often wonder how much they really knew each other. They were happy and content, but at times it seemed like a surface relationship because neither was willing to show the other their true self. For me though, I want and need more. Are you capable of showing your partner who you really are on your darkest days? Do they want to know? Do you feel accepted and understood for all your quirkiness and irrationality or whatever your personality traits are? If not, then you may be left perpetually dissatisfied, and over time the relationship will probably erode itself away, or you will be drawn to someone else you think does want to know you and does accept you. Honestly, this is probably where most affairs start. Is my life better with them in it? Is your partner an asset or a hindrance? Do they support you or suck the life out of you? What it means is you should feel content and supported and loved with this person in your life. Days should not be filled with angst, fights, conflict, or division. If your days are not happy the majority of the time, then ask yourself why. What are you contributing to the unhappiness? Fix your side of the street and see if anything changes. If not, you may need to rethink why you are with them. What Do I Want? Ask them over and over. Ask them in one month. Ask them in six months. Ask them in six years. Choose your own happiness, and in doing so you will choose love rather than it choosing you. Burns is a blogger on a mission of self-discovery. As a sexual abuse survivor that struggled for years with depression anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of self-love, and relationship issues, she found her purpose through writing and sharing her story with others. Check out her other writing at. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. Before using the site, please read our and.

I believe everyone has different comfort levels in regard to vulnerability. If you are lucky enough to find one such gem, you are u. But in loving him so much, I was willing to overlook it for far longer than I should have. Further Reading: Our Relationship is meant to be. What if you miss your chance at telling him how much you're into him even if you're just friends. This is the most inspirational love quotes ever said. But should you change because someone you love left you. Before using the site, please read our and.